First it was just the waking up early that bothered me not to go to the amusement park today, and the restlessness since I don't sleep well at holidays and I've been out everyday - but since my cousin's going back to Medan soon - you can't leave Jakarta not going to Dufan. The new ride, Hysteria - no way no hysteria there - encouraged me though, even if that encouragement is quickly dissolved that my mother's 32 weeks along pregnant and no one approves of her coming and Thalia's conflict and everything.

So, that was what I was pondering while queueing for the roller coaster and thought of how it reminds me of Susan Elizabeth's Black Thunder and how it's supposed to bring Honey Moon's calmness - when Maxi had to kept pushing because the punk kid behind him was shoving him forward and the little chubby mean kid who didn't want to back down the queue was fighting for our place and kept shoving and pushing and it was so annoying I actually told them to quit shoving. 

Future reference on fainting - because I intend to have this experience and get the silver lining of it:

Then either because of the heat my stomach felt queasy as I thought of the bread I quickly savored in minutes before - I wasn't feeling good. My legs were wobbly and the shoving from the back made it hard to breath as the two way line thinned into a single line and people shoved harder (especially that kid whom later I ran into again at McD and I had to count to 5). I started to think "If I were home, I'd be cool at my room in front of my computer doing something productive. God, am I having a panic attack? I'm not having a panic attack. God, I'm breathing hard, I am having a panic attack. Stop thinking of panic attacks and you're not gonna have one." Then I tried to stop thinking all together and it was worse! I tried to take in as much oxygen as possible and it's like I can't breath through my nose so I started with my mouth and I felt so lightheaded that I grabbed the back of Sylvia's arm - whom was in front of me at the line - and said to her "I felt like I want to faint" Which is partly true because I also want to vomit but I don't feel like I have anything in me I can vomit out so I leaned my head down at my limp arm dangling at the railing and the weight of my backpack felt so huge; which is weird since it only had a few pieces of clothes and crackers at the time (I didn't even bring my Caprisone).My aunts and cousins began to worry but it made everything worse, their shouts and loud voices on top of the others and when I looked up my ears were ringing and my vision blurred I'd barely made out that they said I looked so pale. I didn't know how I managed to kept moving forward at the queue until the stairs leading up to the coaster but I sat down at the steps because everything's blurry and I can't hear right - the moment when I felt just like dying because the feeling's so unpleasant and my aunt began to massage my neck because gratefully they had the chapstick like eucalyptus oil rubbed all over me. I think the lady in front of us at the queue understood my aunt's frantic Hokkian language that she offered hers which was in the bottle to me (they told me when I was better since I couldn't see or hear right). It's like being in a deep pool and the sounds are coming from the surface and there's a deathly silent ringing and no matter what it didn't go away and you don't have a nose that you can only breath at short gasps through your mouth that you can't talk like all the breath's been knocked out of you. I looked up after squating down to put my head between my knees and it was all blurry and purplish pink so whatever they offered me I took and being told to drink I did. And later I tasted the oil which tastes totally weird and effective at the same time but all was still pink and hazy when they finished dragging me on top of the coaster where I sat crossed leg at the operator booth and Slyvia was so scared at my - face, I bet, what else right - that she didn't want to go on the ride. Putting my head between my knees while waiting for the others to finish the ride because I just want to get down, find a bench and rest my eyes for a while - which what I did exactly after being escorted down the steps because when getting back at my feet it started being hazy purplish pink and ringing ears all over again until at McD - I don't know how I managed to get there, dragged I imagined - sitting at the farthest deserted table at the outside corner and I can breath right again, where my mom - when she met up with us after taking the little kids to the flying elephant ride- scolded me for my eating habits. So I felt oil whenever I had an air bubble coming up my throat and avoided crowded queueing all day - which's saying that I probably didn't ride anything exciting at all. 

And I just explained my feeling of my the worst 20 minutes today.

But the rest of the day was just fantastic; family feuds' gossips - Thalia as she was being punished left alone at home while the rest of us went to the amusement park and missed my almost dying so she probably didn't have as much fun at home - was a hot topic, Didi's usual temper tantrums, my fooling Maxi and him falling so easily for it and he gets back at it to Slyvia, Vivian's and my aunt's dirty jokes and my pretending not to know who this perverted people who happen to always queueing near me. 

My other aunt and her son did went home early; having enough and missing dinner and the picture.

Swear that we didn't plan on wearing white. A pleasant coincidence! 

Labels: family: aunts, family: cousin, magazine: misteri, place: dufan